I'm Home

This song never gets old for me. Knowing that I always have a place I can go to be loved no matter what I've done or said is such an escape and relief. "I'm home." I dwell in Your love, my Beloved.

Is this the whole picture?

Or is it just the start?

Is this the way You love me?

You're capturing my heart.

I used to try and walk alone,

But I've begun to grow.

And when You tell me just to rest,

I'm finally letting go.

I let go.

And I'm here to stay

Nothing can separate us.

And I know I'm OK.

You cradle me gently.

Wrapped in Your arms,

I'm home.

I'm seeing so much clearer

Looking through Your eyes.

I could never find a safer place

Even if I tried.

All the times I've needed You

You've never left my side.

I'm clinging to Your every word.

Don't ever let me go.

Don't let go.

And I'm here to stay.

Nothing can separate us.

And I know I'm OK.

You cradle me gently.

Wrapped in Your arms.

I'm home.

I'm wrapped in Your arms.

Be Still

I want to be still.

I want to be like Mary at Martha's house and rest at the feet of Jesus.

I want to sit and gaze into His eyes. 

Those eyes, filled with

Compassion

Love

Greatness.

I want to get lost in His presence. 

 Jesus...

Jesus...

My King,

My Beloved.

Purpose

This is a picture of the tattoo I would very much enjoy. I was told that I should blog about why I want a tattoo instead of actually getting one. So here we go:

I have multiple reasons why I want this particular tattoo.

First
Luke 12:6-7 says: "Are not five sparrows sold for two pennies? Yet not one of them is forgotten by God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are numbered. Don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows." This, to me, is a sign of worth and beauty. My whole life I have struggled with this concept because of different influences that I just can't get away from in today's society. I'm constantly told by commercials, billboards, peers, and other unreliable resources how to dress, wear makeup, wear my hair, what looks good, and what doesn't. I do feel like I've been taken away from that mode of thinking more now that God has me serving teenage students. He uses me to tell them of how much they are worth and, in turn, He reminds me how precious I am as well. So that's the first meaning to me: Worth and beauty.

Second
The picture of this bird reminds me of a liberating freedom because of the grace and fluency of the drawing. My freedom is found when I belong to Jesus. When I depend on Him with my heart, mind, body, and soul, I am free. Yet again, this brings me back to my first point: I don't have to worry about anything when I fall deep into His loving grasp. He has a tight hold on me and will not let me fall. I want to be free to fly in His arms.

Third
I had a miscarriage four years ago at the end of September. We didn't know if it was a boy or girl yet, but if it was going to be a girl, I wanted to name her Ellyana Grace and we would call her Elly for short. I don't talk about this much because it seemed like it was just a freak accident. But now that I know what the problem is (after four years), it seems easier to talk about. I have debated getting the tattoo on my shoulder and having the nose point slightly upward to represent her flying towards the sky. I know that God has the child I lost safe with Him and I look forward to meeting him/her someday.

Well, there it is. I've written out my thoughts on the reasoning behind it. Really, it's for me more than anything. Let me know what you think.

Elaina

And here it is! :)

Love and Liars

Constant reminders of how to love people have been echoing throughout my life the past couple of weeks.
Here is something I came across today:

"Many are the plans in a man's heart, but it is the Lord's purpose that prevails. What a man desires is unfailing love; better to be poor than a liar." ~Proverbs 19:21-22

In other words, even though we may think we have life all planned out, God is still in control and may ask us to drop everything on the itinerary and become homeless, adoptive parents, or something else we weren't quite expecting. We, as human beings, are created to love and  to be loved. ("The greatest thing is just to love and be loved in return!!!" ~Moulin Rouge, gotta love it ;) and it's so true.) This is why, after many broken relationships, the human race still longs for more. We desire a love that is unconditional and that will stick around forever.

Then I came to the part of Proverbs 19:22 that says, "better to be poor than a liar." My thoughts wandered to the following:

"If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And He has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother." 1 John 4:20-21

This is what that means to me: It is better to give up everything you have for the love of your brother (or sister) than to "be a liar" and just walk on past those in need. Those that are in need of not just material possessions, but of love. Also, brother/sister does not just refer to our blood relation, but to the human race. We must learn to treat everyone as if they were our family. We are all God's creation and His creation is beautiful. We are all beautiful and desire a deep love that no else can give us. God is the only one up for that job.

Just a short thought I had for the day :) Love God, love people. Pretty simple, right?

Elaina

Radical

I've started reading David Platt's book, Radical: Taking Back Your Faith From the American Dream. The information and ideas that he has incorporated in this book are blowing my socks off. Most of them are pretty obvious (well, they should be, anyway) and biblical, but it's nice to be reminded every now and again. Especially since I live in a country that revolves its success rate on how much money you have and, in church, how many children and nice clothes you have. I've been reading just a chapter a day because I want to fully understand what he is saying. Today, I read chapter 4: The Great Why of God: God's Global Purpose From the Beginning to Today and I won't be able to sleep until I've written out my thoughts on this.

The whole point of the chapter is to help us realize that our lives are meant to reflect the glory of God to other people, to ALL people. God gives His grace to us only so He can be glorified. Platt starts off this chapter with a story of him and his wife being invited to preach at a church about their inner-city ministry in New Orleans. Then he proceeds to tell them about other opportunities. Here is an excerpt:

"Then I told them about ministry opportunities God had recently given me around the world. I told them about people's receptivity to the gospel in places that are traditionally hostile to Christianity. I told them that, whether in the inner city or over-seas, God was drawing people to himself in some of the toughest areas of the world.

Expecting them to share in my excitement, I paused to listen for their response. After an awkward silence, one of the deacons leaned forward in his chair, looked at me, and said, 'David, I think it's great you are going to those places. But if you ask me, I would just as soon God annihilate all those people and send them to hell.'

That's exactly what he said. I was shocked and speechless. I had no idea what to say in response. I wish I had said something, but I'm still not sure what I would have said. Annihilate them? Send them to hell?

After a moment of silence, the rest of the room resumed conversation as if nothing out of the ordinary had just happened."

What? This breaks my heart, and yet, is so true. I have, unfortunately, experienced this kind of attitude in a church body. Nothing tears me down more physically and emotionally than this kind of hatred towards mankind. We were created to be images of God. All of us. Yes, we are all sinners, but we also have a choice to receive grace so we can glorify this great God. We have no right to take that opportunity away from anyone.

The next part of this chapter that really struck me is these next couple of paragraphs. I was reading it this morning at The Coffee Ethic and wished I had someone to talk to about it to calm me down from the excitement of reading these words. It was so hard for me to just sit there in my chair peacefully without drawing attention to myself. Then again, maybe that was God's goal and I missed it? Anyway, Platt goes on to talk about being called into missions. He says that we are all commanded, not called to go and tell people about Jesus. (Now, there are deeper callings that are specific to each individual, but I'm talking about just having a willing heart to drop everything in this American life and go wherever God tells you to go whether it be Russia or Des Moines, Iowa.) Here is the next excerpt:

"In all this missions talk, you may begin to think, 'Well, surely you're not suggesting that we're all supposed to move overseas.' That is certainly not what I'm suggesting (thought I'm not completely ruling it out!). But this is precisely the problem. We have created the idea that if you have a heart for the world and you are passionate about global missions, then you move overseas. But if you have a heart for the United States and you are not passionate about global mission, then you stay here and support those who go. Meanwhile, flying right in the face of this idea is Scripture's claim that regardless of where we live - here or overseas - our hearts should be consumed with making the glory of God known in all nations.

I know there are probably some folks in the church I pastor who wouldn't mind if I left and lived in another nation. I say this kiddingly (I hope!), but, after all, isn't that where people who are passionate about the world go? But this is exactly why the church I pastor is stuck with me (as long as they'll have me). Because from cover to cover the Bible teaches that all the church - not just select individuals, but all the church - is created to reflect all the glory of God to all the world. Because every single man, woman, and child in the church I pastor is intended to impact nations for the glory of Christ, and there is a God-designed way for us to live our lives here, and do church here, for the sake of people around the world, who don't know Christ."

 Um, wow. Yes, church, we need to have a passion for ALL of the world. Not just our own country or city, but all of the nations. I rejoice because God has filled my heart with compassion for all people that I only wish I could do more. I do mess up and wish people weren't ever around me because we just do and say foolish things, but ultimately, I love God's creation. He is brilliant and we could never duplicate what He has designed.

To end this, I hope whoever reads this will just think twice before talking bad about the man/woman in Wal-mart that doesn't have the right kind of clothes on or the homeless man/woman that smells funny. God wants you to love them and show them His grace so that He. Will. Be. Glorified.

Elaina <><

Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect the Lord's glory, are being transformed into His likeness with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
~2 Corinthians 3:17-18

Step Up

So to quickly wrap up Austin:

Chelsea and I stayed in Austin with her family Monday and Tuesday. We hit up more coffee shops, thrift stores, vintage stores, a Thai restaurant with Thai Basil Lime ice cream (yum!), and many other things. We were also treated to some pretty great Gelato by her parents. Thank you!! I picked the pink grapefruit sorbetto. Oh, so good! Tuesday night, we drove north to stay with my aunt and uncle in Collinsville. Then, Wednesday we headed back to the home-front. And, of course, there was rain...a lot of rain...for the drive home. Thank you, Lord, for watering our earth.


*And on to Saturday, July 10th*

Springfield had an event called "Step Up for Downs Syndrome." Brock and I took a few students from our youth group to volunteer with crafts and face painting. Can I just say, "What a blast!" There is nothing better than a child or an adult with downs syndrome smiling at you from ear to ear because of the not-so-good rainbow you painted on their face. The smiling faces of the students that volunteered and put everything they had into the event were just as heartwarming. My heart was full with so much compassion and love for these beautiful children of God that I could hardly contain it. Even now, I am overwhelmed by the beauty and joy that was displayed last Saturday. God does not make mistakes. I believe he has made each one of us different and unique in every way so we can learn from each other. We can learn how to love deeply as He loves us.

After the main event at the ice arena, everyone lined up to take a walk to the Springfield Cardinals stadium. When they arrived, they took a walk around the ball field, waved, shook some hands, and just had a great time. Almost everyone stayed for the Cardinals game as well. I'm not really into baseball, so I mainly just chatted with my friend, Jenny, from church. Here are a few pictures of the day:


The Hat Makers :)



The Face Painters :)


Helping make a hat:



Face Painting:


This is my absolute favorite photo. It took a lot of convincing for her to get her face painted and when she decided to do it, she couldn't stop smiling! :)



The crew that volunteered minus Brock because he was taking the picture :)

Austin! Day 2

Sunday, July 4th

Independence Day! The first thing on the agenda for us was to hit up the coffee shop called "The Houndstooth," recommended by Tom at The Coffee Ethic in Springfield. When we walked through the door and I saw "cortado" on the menu I was in a state of bliss. The Ethic introduced this tasty drink just this summer and I fell in love. I knew right away that we would have to visit The Houndstooth just about everyday we were in Austin. :) If you're ever in the Austin area, you should definitely step in and check it out.



After our caffeine fix, we visited the farmer's market on 5th street. A few of the booths mentioned that the pickings were a little slim due to the holiday. Nevertheless, the area was very cute and had plentiful produce. After the market we took a stroll down 6th street and stopped in a few shops. The street was made up of mostly pubs, but we ended up purchasing a bumper sticker for our friend, Leslie. Her one request was a bumper sticker that said "Keep Austin Weird." Mission: Accomplished. :)



For lunch we went to Chelsea's aunt and uncle's house for hamburger's and ribs. I ended up talking with her uncle for about an hour or two about Pittsburgh. He visits up there often and loves the city and Primanti Bros., of course. This means "instant friend" in my book. (twinge of homesickness) Oh yes, and he loves Volkswagen so that was a topic of conversation as well. If only Brock and I had purchased The Thing in Marionville last year...

After lunch, we drove downtown to the Congress Bridge to watch the hundreds of thousands of bats that are supposed to fly out and fill the sky at dusk. They made plenty of noise, but decided not to make an appearance, so we just sat and waited for the city fireworks. The fireworks were not much to look at, so we ended up leaving about five minutes before they were over to beat the majority of the traffic. This definitely did not happen...we were stuck in traffic (human and vehicle traffic) for two hours...craziness...I don't even want to relive that, so we'll just leave it at that.

As soon as we got back to the house we were staying at, we put on some B. B. King and relaxed on the couch reading our books. After all of the chaos of traffic, it was a great end to the night with the King.

Austin!

Here is a quick rundown of my adventures in Austin with Chelsea :)

Day 1: Saturday, July 3rd

We drove down to Austin in my new Kia Soul! I love this car: great ride, gas mileage, sound system, and just plain awesome. I started out the day with a purchase from The Coffee Ethic for the both of us: Earl Grey for me and Caramel Latte for Chelsea. From there I picked up Chels and we were off to Austin, TX. We had our iPods stocked and ready to go for the (supposed to be) 11 hour drive.



The first major event of the day happened right after our pit stop at the McDonald's that stretches over the highway in Oklahoma. Right after paying the toll and driving into a construction zone, (with the flow of traffic, I might add, since there were no signs for the speed limit)I was pulled over for the first time in my life (after 10 years of record free driving)...by a state trooper!! When he came to the passenger side window, he never told me why I was pulled over, he just asked for my driver's license. So I decided to ask, "Was I speeding?" With a look that sarcastically said, "Are you serious?" he verbally responded, "Yes...you were going 65 in a 55 mph zone." After taking my driver's license he asked me to come back to the car. What??? So the first time to get pulled over and sit in a police car all in one day after only 2 hours of driving...not the greatest start to a trip. Well, to make the story short, he ended up giving me just a warning because I probably looked like I was going to throw up from the anxiety. When he asked me to sign the piece of paper with the warning, I couldn't even sign my name right I was shaking so hard. Oh yeah, and he wanted to know what kind of gas mileage my new car was getting. I think he just pulled me over because deep down inside he feels like he needs some Soul.





Soon after our incident with the state trooper, the hurricane from the south decided to water the earth and dump endless amounts of rain on the highway. What should have taken two hours to reach Oklahoma City ended up taking four hours. We decided lunch sounded like a pretty good idea, so we ended up asking Jillian to search for a Panera Bread close by (Jillian is the name of my Garmin.) She found us one that took 15 minutes to get to, only to find out that it was closed...permanently. We searched again and found another one about five minutes away. Chelsea had the smart idea to call before we drove to see if this one was up for business. Hallelujah it was open! Meanwhile, the rain is still pouring and flooding the earth. Needless to say, we ended up eating a hot meal at Panera and taking a much needed break.





As soon as we reached Oklahoma City, the rest of our trip was pretty uneventful. The plan was to meet Chelsea's family at a ranch three hours south of Austin, but decided against it after driving for 13 or 14 hours. Since all of the family was at the ranch, one of Addie's friends in Austin (Addie is Chelsea's sister) graciously offered for us to stay in her house for a couple of nights while she was away. This woman's house was the epitome of eclectic decorating: so beautiful. She didn't have a T.V. but there was a record player, which was just as welcoming! After a crazy day of driving, we hit our pillows within minutes of arriving.

Whirlwind

So the past few weeks have been quite an event. First, my husband and I took our youth group to Super Summer at Hannibal-LaGrange college June 14th-18th. Camp was amazing and God spoke deeply to each and every person that attended. I love Super Summer because the staff invest not only in the lives of the students, but also in the restoration of the youth leaders. When the students have their study time, the adults have theirs as well. Getting to know other youth leaders from different churches and different ministries is so great and encouraging. The encouragement comes from learning that we're not the only ones that deal with certain circumstances and attitudes when it comes to youth ministry. It's really great. The students also came away knowing more of who God is and what it means to have a relationship with Him. I absolutely love listening to their ambitions and answering questions like, "How do I know God is speaking to me?" So beautiful to see God working. :)

Since this post has been waiting to be published for a couple weeks now, I'm going to just go for it and update the rest of the "whirlwind" tomorrow. :)

Elaina

Finding God in This Storm

I am a girl that grew up a half an hour north of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania where a thunderstorm was just that: a thunderstorm. There were no threats of tornadoes as long as I lived there, except on the one occasion in 1998 with the series of F0 and F1 tornadoes. Even then the most people lost were a bunch of trees in their yard or a roof to their garage. Now that I live in Southwest Missouri, I have a whole new perspective on stormy weather.

I remember my first experience with tornado weather like it was just yesterday. (I know that’s a cliché saying, but it’s true!) I decided to go to college at Southwest Baptist University in Bolivar, MO in the fall of 2002 after high school. (That’s a story for another time.) My second semester of classes in 2003 was my first spring in the Midwest. I remember living on 3^rd East of the Leslie dorm when the alarm went off and we all had to grab our pillow and run down to the first floor. I was so scared because I’d never had to react to such a threat. This, of course, happened to be the spring when Stockton and Pierce City were leveled by the tornadoes. Missouri’s way of saying “welcome,” I guess.

Well, today we had another thunderstorm. No severe threat was involved, but the rapid way the wind and rain picked up happened to get my heart racing, as usual. As soon as the rain started to fall, it was blown sideways because the wind was so fierce. Soon thereafter, quarter-sized hail started to fall from the sky and fly sideways hitting our screen door. Of course, if you’re from the Midwest, quarter-sized hail is nothing compared to the size you’ve seen in the past. From my perspective, the short storm was pretty fierce and the rain let up within about a half an hour. When the precipitation was over, the wind stilled blew something fierce and our electricity went out. Awesome.

Within what, I think, may have been about 20 minutes, there was absolutely no breath of wind, the sun was shining and the clouds were scarce and feathery. As Liz Lemon would say, “What the what?” This Missouri weather is so emotionally unstable and unpredictable that I am completely blown away every single time (no pun intended.) This instability, however, leads me to a constant fear whenever there is any threat of a thunderstorm. Good thing I have a husband that will step out into the middle of the street to stare up at the sky and see what the clouds are going to do. In the meantime, I’m taking cover in the basement or bathtub as soon as those sirens go off!

This all brings me to remember the magnificent majesty of my God. Even though the storm may frighten me, I need to remember that God is the one causing this storm to occur. The beautiful calm after the psychotic storm is the part that I look forward to every time. There is such a peace that I can’t help but think of my King. There is a lesson after each physical storm that reminds me there is a calm and peace after the whirlwind of life. The only One that can provide that perfect peace is my Beloved. What a good lesson for this season of my life. Thank you, Jesus.

~Elaina

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7